Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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