Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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