make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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