My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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