YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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