Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
