Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
