So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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