You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
