so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
