Do you still have your period?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
