its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize