so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
