I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
