But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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