So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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