is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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