one two three fourrrrnication!
there's paper in my vomit.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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