I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
