why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
