it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
