I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
