sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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