Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
