I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
