I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
