my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
