so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
