Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
