And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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