That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
