So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
