We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
