Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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