there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
