I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Actions speak louder than pants.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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