and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
