Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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