Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed

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(317): View more from Indiana

Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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(949): View more from California

Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple

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