The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
