You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
