..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We're too hungover to prance.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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