I hope mine doesn't look like that
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
