Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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