my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
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Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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