We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
