He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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