i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
