I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
