If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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