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• (863): View more from Florida

  haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twice...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult

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