Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
