I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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