tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
