I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.