Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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  (908): Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too. http://tfl.nu/4y2n
  Replies (16) Good night (989) Bad night (3562)
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  (916): View more from California

  and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse

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  (916): and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse http://tfl.nu/0v20
  Replies (12) Good night (4885) Bad night (1338)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.

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  (301): chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING. http://tfl.nu/oa1d
  Replies (37) Good night (952) Bad night (5505)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.

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  (318): This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out. http://tfl.nu/skdx
  Replies (18) Good night (8117) Bad night (1219)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night

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  (314): You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night http://tfl.nu/nbdz
  Replies (13) Good night (1704) Bad night (4506)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young

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  (815): its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young http://tfl.nu/hsw4
  Replies (7) Good night (2518) Bad night (939)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.

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  (813): We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing. http://tfl.nu/09y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1905) Bad night (710)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.

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  (201): Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that. http://tfl.nu/wq84
  Replies (7) Good night (1444) Bad night (682)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it

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  (225): Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it http://tfl.nu/wgow
  Replies (8) Good night (1241) Bad night (852)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.

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  (910): Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here. http://tfl.nu/sd9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1105) Bad night (436)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

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  (505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (404)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's

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  (801): And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's http://tfl.nu/7hkf
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (249)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her

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  (440): She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her http://tfl.nu/q6nk
  Replies (1) Good night (222) Bad night (607)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.

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  (647): I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation. http://tfl.nu/zjsi
  Replies (1) Good night (354) Bad night (168)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit

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  (336): You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit http://tfl.nu/n31s
  Replies (0) Good night (332) Bad night (111)

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