Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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(973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick http://tfl.nu/qy0n

Replies (21) Good night (1847) Bad night (565)
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(305): View more from Florida

Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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(305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that. http://tfl.nu/r17f

Replies (41) Good night (1016) Bad night (4526)
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(530): View more from California

shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

(1-530): View more from California

just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

(530): View more from California

yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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(530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl

Replies (44) Good night (1071) Bad night (5009)
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(702): View more from Nevada

We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Wtf? Why?

(702): View more from Nevada

I want awesome conversations to show the world.

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(702): We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs (1-702): Wtf? Why? (702): I want awesome conversations to show the world. http://tfl.nu/kf4n

Replies (27) Good night (4518) Bad night (993)
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(513): View more from Ohio

she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."

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(513): she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead." http://tfl.nu/j1dy

Replies (34) Good night (5463) Bad night (1388)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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(717): do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT http://tfl.nu/ci1u

Replies (17) Good night (5836) Bad night (1284)
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(607): View more from New York

please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already

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(607): please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already http://tfl.nu/5kxb

Replies (8) Good night (2958) Bad night (1523)
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(917): View more from New York City

on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can

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(917): on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can http://tfl.nu/4n6x

Replies (11) Good night (864) Bad night (950)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Guess what happened to me today at work?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

I have chlamydia. What happened.

(734): View more from Michigan

Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

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(734): Guess what happened to me today at work? (1-734): I have chlamydia. What happened. (734): Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second. http://tfl.nu/rf53

Replies (11) Good night (2701) Bad night (1343)
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(515): View more from Iowa

So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?

(1-515): View more from Iowa

Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....

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(515): So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night? (1-515): Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something .... http://tfl.nu/8iom

Replies (10) Good night (2267) Bad night (579)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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(860): When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation http://tfl.nu/q5aa

Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (449)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent

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(860): Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent http://tfl.nu/cikk

Replies (8) Good night (955) Bad night (467)
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(941): View more from Florida

Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?

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(941): Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"? http://tfl.nu/0496

Replies (7) Good night (659) Bad night (328)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise

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(973): You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise http://tfl.nu/rwe2

Replies (1) Good night (918) Bad night (288)
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken

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(954): I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken http://tfl.nu/ui33

Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (165)

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