No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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