talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize