Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
