I bet he comes in French.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
