Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
