I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I look better un-naked...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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