do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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