i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
