that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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