So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
