In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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