Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she pinky promised me she was 18
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
