K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
