Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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