I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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