Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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