so explain again why im purple
no
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
