i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize