we're blogging at a bar
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
